Why I cry

As a teenage girl, I think I fit into the stereotype that girls cry… A lot. When I say a lot, I don’t mean every hour of every day. But, I do mean a pretty good and fitting amount of the “average” teenage girl. There are many reasons as to why I may start crying at certain moments. I am personally an extremely sensitive person that takes many things to heart. Many people view me as the sweet caring girl who is nice to everyone and has an innocent heart, and I am almost exactly that. I care deeply for my family and friends, as well as the kind strangers that I see around. As I have grown, I have learned not to take many jokes seriously or let people get to me. However, some things still slip through.

I cry because sometimes boys (or girls) make mean jokes about things that upset me. Many mean jokes are based around insecurities or incidents from the past. I know I am not supposed to let a silly boy get to me, but sometimes they strike the right nerve and I tear up. While these jokes do not happen nearly as often as they did in middle scholar freshman year, they still hurt me in the past.

I cry because I know my dogs won’t be here forever. I love both my puppies so much, and sometimes have to remember how precious their lives are, and that they won’t be here as long as they deserve to be. I will never be ready to let go of my precious sweet hearts, but I know I will have to some day.

I cry because I see sad videos on the internet or watch a sad scene in a movie or TV show. While movies and TV shows are mainly just fictional, it can still be sad to lose a favorite character. As well as sad videos I see online, such as the coming home videos of soldiers to their families or loved ones.

I cry because sometimes I love people so much I don’t know how else to release my emotions, other than happy tears. I think of how lucky I am to have someone so special and kind and pure of heart. Having a bond so strong is amazing and I will forever be grateful I get to experience it.

I cry because I remember my dad probably eats his dinners alone on most nights. My parents got a divorce when I was twelve, and as I have gotten older and busier, I don’t get to see my dad as much. It forever breaks my heart that I cannot spend every day with him. He is my superman, and I have always been a daddy’s girl. Missing my dad is definitely the main source of my tears. Just imagining him alone upsets me, and I wish I could be with him more often.

I cry because I get yelled at. I am a very kind and light-hearted person who is also quite sensitive. So whenever I get yelled at (which is not often), I am usually left with a large lump in my throat. It is hard getting yelled at by someone who is not a family member, like my mom or dad. Most of the time it is a volleyball coach when I make a mistake. Only one in particular would actually bring me to tears.

I cry because I am scared to grow up. I don’t want to grow up. I am scared that college will be hard. I’m scared that I may not make it into medical school or that I won’t be smart enough to finish it. What if I can’t learn how to do my taxes, or buy a house, or get a car, or schedule a doctor’s appointment, or pay my bills. I still have a lot of learning to do, and I am scared.

These are definitely not all of the reasons I cry, but they are some of the bigger reasons. I could write an entire essay of the reasons why I cry. I think I am a complex person, and I still do not know exactly who I am or what I will be, but I definitely do know what upsets me.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Grace O'Donnell

My name is Grace O’Donnell, this blog is for my English Composition II class at the University of Akron.